Michael Viner Redux

And Yes, I am Angry at Myself

Michael Viner Redux

How could I say so many terrible things about Michael? After all, he was my brother and I should be loyal. But when does telling the truth win out over covering up for someone who caused me so much pain? I recognize I’m being anything other than a loving sibling and yes, I do feel guilty.

And the more I write, the more I realize that I am angry with myself for not having made peace with him before he died. Even though I tried, I failed miserably.  Much of it was Michael’s fault but a lot of it was situational and a product of our living in two different countries. Plus the fact that Michael was a pro at pitting people against one another which I never understood.

People have asked why I’m writing about him now after being so incredibly successful in sublimating my feelings for so many years. I’ve given that a lot of thought.

The answer is that I am trying to understand what made Michael tick and the impact he had on my life.  And it’s taken time and strength to tackle the ups and downs of our relationship.  Unfortunately, there were more downs than ups. But, I really loved Michael, even though there were so many times I didn’t like him.  

There was never any doubt from the time I was very little, that Michael was brilliant and conflicted. Like most big brothers, he could be mean but then, he could be sweet and overly protective. I could never understand why he needed to break so many rules and was frequently in trouble. He saw a therapist twice a week and at one point, one of his teachers lived with us.

Mother was unable to control Michael as much as she tried. In retrospect, my guess is that our father really didn’t like this giant of a boy, who was a carbon copy of him and had the same problems with obesity. Even though he died when Michael was 11, I suspect Daddy’s dislike was already imprinted. When I queried Mother about their relationship, she would become silent. I think I remember there being shouting matches - but perhaps not.

Michael loved to taunt me. I still remember when he poured water on my head when Elvis Presley appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1956. I refused to wake up and Michael was having none of that since “I had to watch because Elvis was going to make history.” How did he know?

After giving Mother extensive headaches, she sent him to LA to spend time with her father, hoping his influence would be positive. Hermie secured a job for Michael in the 20^th Century mailroom and Michael’s career was launched.   

Michael’s career was impressive and included a long stint in the record production business. He became vice-president of MGM Records after successfully recording The Best of Marcel Marceao, a joke album of silence ending with applause. Michael appeared on To Tell the Truth, where none of the contestants guessed it was he who produced the record.

Michael was the consummate promoter, a creative genius and had a fabulous sense of humor. But there were times he lacked integrity and for whatever reasons, people frequently gave him a pass and dismissed his behavior as Michael being Michael.

He went on to record “Michael Viner’s Incredible Bongo Band” and “Apache” which became the basis of Hip-Hop and one of the most “sampled” songs in the history of music. In the movie about his involvement in creating HIP HOP, even the musicians, whom he didn’t always pay, said Michael was a genius who never raised his voice.

Each time I watch SAMPLE THIS, a movie detailing how Michael assembled studio musicians to record Bongo Band, I have new revelations and flash-backs.

Michael went on to start Dove Books on Tape and Phoenix Books. He produced numerous movies and refused to slowed down in spite of his aggressive cancer.

Michael’s career and life could have been incredibly stellar and in so many ways, it was. He should have died a very rich man but instead, died owing a lot of people a lot of money.  He was never 100% honest, which dogged him his entire life. Even his Wikipedia page includes a few lies including that he attended Harvard and Georgetown’s School of Foreign Service. I never understood why when he was so incredibly brilliant and creative and he didn’t need to make up stories.

In spite of all of the negative things Michael did, there was another side of Michael, who was very caring.  For example, he mentored my son and is partially responsible for Miles’ acumen in the video and audio-visual fields. Even though Michael would have liked Miles to take over his business, Miles didn’t.

I was amazed how Miles was so clearly able to differentiate between Michael’s good and bad qualities. But he was and he did.  As a matter of fact, Miles wasn’t the least bit enamored over life in Hollywood and resisted the temptation of being star-struck over his uncle’s bigger-than-life existence.

Michael knew everyone in LA and would speed down Cold Water Canyon each morning to Nate N Al’s Delicatessan in Beverly Hills.  Michael was a regular and had breakfast with Larry King and a couple of other men. When I was in LA, I’d occasionally accompany him to the deli even though I was rarely invited to sit with the posse. But it had good coffee, good bagels and even better people watching. 

My being in LA, inspired Michael to put together a bag of his clothes and shoes and give them to a man who was approximately Michael’s size pushing a grocery cart. They always talked and Michael always said that he could be a bag man too. Whatever his motive, I was glad he was generous.

I could write so much more about Michael but it’s time to move on … for now. Let’s just say our relationship was more than complicated.